Hasta luego, España

So it is official. It is 12:02 a.m. and I go back to the United States tomorrow. It is so surreal I cannot even believe it myself. I was talking with my dad via Skype and while he walked through the house, he carried the laptop with him, revealing the entire house crystal clear, as if I was there strolling through each room also. That is when it hit me. I will be there in less than two days. I could not be more ecstatic. And scared. And shocked. It's the most surreal and confusing mix of emotions I have experienced in my life. Last night was the first time I cried about leaving Spain. Hard. It was when I saw my old host family and Angel hugged me like I was his own daughter, which he often describes me as. I think that just made me cry harder. Today I went to their house for lunch and to say goodbye. Actually, I prefer hasta luego over adios, or "see you later" over "goodbye." I cannot stand to affirm such a finite despedido. I wonder if I ever will see them again. I fully intend on coming back here someday, but when will that day be? It is so confusing to just up and leave this place I have for so long called home, especially with the uncertainty of my someday return. Another uncertainty is how this has changed me. Will I go back to the US the same person? Will I appreciate more and walk a little slower? I guess we will find out on Tuesday. 

Walking from that bus stop in Polígono today reminded me of the first few months I spent here. It feels like yesterday when I arrived, immersed completely in a foreign culture surrounded by a language of which I only understood about every fifth word. Like one of those babies they throw into the pool hoping it will learn quickly how to swim and not drown. I have been swimming a long time now, so long I have forgotten what life outside the water is like. My home, everything I am used to. I am preparing myself mentally for the culture shock of my life, once again.